I really hate gossip. I think it is destructive and dangerous. I can remember times in my life when I have gotten caught in the web of gossip and I have seen the hurt it has caused in others. I also know that when I am talking to someone and they begin to gossip, I feel uncomfortable. 

I know people who thrive on gossip. The minute they hear some “news,” they have this drive to tell everyone they know. There is little thought about the damage that gossip can do, especially when it sends misinformation. You can never undo the words that are said. They will resonate in people’s minds for quite some time.

Gossip is especially puzzling to me when it happens to a marriage. We see this frequently in the work we do. Husbands or wives gets really mad at their spouses and the next thing you know, they are calling a friend or a family member and telling them everything that happened. Before long, the friend or family member is as upset about the situation as the spouse who gossiped! In some marriages, this goes on every day.  There seems to be no boundaries in what can be shared and how it can be shared. In reality, this is very destructive to a relationship and will poison the marriage.

You see, when we gossip about our marriages, we are fracturing the foundation of our love. Little do we know that participating in this negative behavior hinders our relationship growth and keeps us from achieving the marriage successes we desire. We do more damage than we can imagine simply by not practicing restriction. In addition, you can’t share marriage gossip with someone without it having a negative ramification for a friend or family member.  You and your spouse might work through the issues, but your friend or family member don’t get that privilege so they are still full of offense and anger while you have moved on. It’s like vomiting on someone and then walking away. Now, they have to figure out what they will do with the mess!

Marriage should be a sacred union in which you do not want to harm it in any way. We should do everything we can to protect that union and gossiping about it is not protecting it.  Next time something happens between you and your spouse, work it out together instead of running to someone to gossip about what happened. If you will do this, you will see relationship growth and marriage success.  You will also give others in your lives a gift; they will not be put in the middle of your issues and will be able to respect your marriage with you!

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