Did you watch any of the team sports while the Olympics were on? The sports teams were amazing and the relay races were incredible. It took skill, practice and team work to accomplish greatness. I loved hearing the announcers say that a team was not selfish and had learned the art of working together. They knew if they all won, then they won as an individual.  They had the concept of oneness and unity. The teams that didn’t have that concept did poorly and you could see that they blamed each other for their fall. You also could see certain team members standing out and being somewhat selfish in their behaviors. The difference between those teams that worked together and those that didn’t was astounding.    

Did you know that marriage is a team sport? You either win together or you lose together. It took a while for Michael and I to get that concept.  In the beginning of our marriage, it felt like we were competing with each other. If something needed to be done, we would take account of who had done the most work that day or who did the chore last and then we would argue about who was carrying the most responsibility in the relationship. This is not playing as a team. This is division and divide is what we did.  The selfishness ran deep and would frequently be the foundation for a good argument. We didn’t know what it meant to work together and be in unity. I am quite certain that this attitude contributed to the break in our relationship. When we got back together after being separated, I think we both realized that selfishness could not be a part of our marriage anymore and that if we were going to make it work, we had to become a team.   

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment that we began to flow as a team but I do remember several years ago noticing that we just naturally helped each other out.  If I cooked, Michael was there to help clean up the dishes.  If he was doing the laundry, I would fold the clothes when they came out of the dryer.  If he went to change the sheets on the bed, I would follow him to help. Day by day we learned to share the responsibilities and work together.  We learned that sharing the load was so much easier than fighting over who did what or worse yet, letting one of us do the majority of the work and then allowing resentment to set in. I look at us now and I am amazed at our teamwork. Just like being on a sports team, we have learned the art of oneness and unity.  It feels good to be a winning team.        

Marriage is a team sport. You either win together or you lose together. How are you doing in your marriage? Do you work together as a team or do you work against each other? Maybe it’s time to sit down and talk about how you can be a better team and win at this thing called marriage!

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