Do you ever notice how everything seems so much different in the middle of the night? You wake up after an intense dream and suddenly your senses are heightened. I think the darkness has something to do with it. Darkness seems to magnify everything. In fact, so much so that it's frequently hard to go back to sleep because you can't shut your mind off......you have trouble shutting off your emotions. Anger feels stronger, fears feel bigger, worries feel more intense, and sadness feels heavier. You lay there and tell yourself to go back to sleep and to stop thinking about the issue or situation but the more you tell yourself that the more the darkness seems to intensify the feelings.   

It's funny but when light enters the darkness it seems to erase all the strong emotion. You begin to think more clearly and feel more confident. There's something about light that is soothing, calming, reassuring. I can wake up in the middle of the night thinking about something relatively minor and it seems to be overwhelming but the minute morning comes and the light is there, it doesn't feel so big. In fact, sometimes I even wonder why I got so upset about it in the first place because the issue seems so small in the light.   

Darkness happens in our marriages too, doesn't it? We wake up in a marriage and the problems and the issues seem so big because we are experiencing the darkness - everything is intensified and magnified - the emotions are raw and painful. Sometimes, we wonder if our marriage is even worth fighting for.....the darkness shouts at us to quit, give up, take the easy road, not forgive, hold grudges, resent. If we aren't careful, we get stuck in the darkness and think it will never leave. We think the darkness is the reality of our marriage. We forget about the "light."   

The difference between waking up in the middle of the night and being in darkness and waking up in a marriage and being in darkness is that we can actually choose to bring the light into our marriages at anytime. We don't have to wait for the light to come; we can be the one to turn the light on. We can determine to stay committed, we can forgive, we can let go of grudges, we can soften our hearts toward our spouses, and we can get help if we feel stuck.  Light comes when we choose to let it in - darkness can be eliminated at anytime. It is a choice we make.  How's your marriage? Is there any darkness in it that needs to be eliminated?

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