What does having a date say about a couple's relationship? I have to say that I get tired of listening to couples say they don't have money for a date or the time to have a date. It just doesn't make any sense to me. If you started going out with someone and they said to you, "You know, I want to spend time with you but I don't have the money or the time to take you on a date" you would say, "Hit the road, Jack!" Dates are what helps you connect and get to know one another. Dates show you the heart of each other and let you learn each other's likes and dislikes. Dates are as important to a marriage as yeast is to baking bread. Dates build you up and add favor to your relationship. Without dates, your marriage will go flat.
Often when we are working with a couple, we will give the husband the task of asking his wife out on a date between sessions. It is not unusually for the couple to come back to the next session and when asked about the date, the husband will say, "Well, we didn't go on a date. I didn't know what she would like and we were busy so it just didn't happen." It's kind of funny that when you were dating, you did everything you could think of to make your dates special or have an element of surprise yet when you get married, you can't "think of what your spouse would like?" That's not the reason someone doesn't plan a date. They don't plan a date because they don't see how important it is to their relationship. The flip side of this is when a husband does plan a date and we see the wife's eyes sparkle when he describes what they did. To her, the date said, "Babe, you are so important to me that I am going to set aside this time to just focus on you." Nothing is more precious than seeing the glow in her eyes knowing that his effort created this.
Now, for those of you who say that dates cost too much and take too much time. Where did you get the definition of a date? A date can happen in your own home when the kids go to bed. A date can happen in your neighborhood park when you take your spouse on a picnic. A date doesn't have to cost tons of money. You can also swap babysitting with someone you know and not have to pay for childcare. Remember, a date is time with the one you love to focus on each other. That doesn't have to cost a dime but the end result of a date is priceless.
So, what are you waiting for? Have you had a date recently with your spouse? If not, plan one now. If you have, keep it up! Dates are vitally important to the health of your relationship.